Why I Avoid Kids

Why I Avoid Kids

Okay guys… and girls… I gotta admit it. I didn’t have a post for today. I know… BUUUT… It’s okay. I got my boyfriend to write a post for me! And I was kinda nervous about it, but since I had stared at the screen for I don’t even know how long without writing anything, I figured I had to give him a chance. So here ya go! 😉

I had the privilege of having Annie help me in King’s Kids this past Wednesday night. For those of you unfamiliar with it, this is a glorified babysitting service that our church uses to keep the kids entertained during the midweek service while the adults are in their service. I teach 3rd Grade. I usually have between 10 and 15 eight- and nine-year-old’s that I have to keep entertained for an hour-and-a-half every week. With that background out of the way, here are five reasons why Annie should never babysit your kids:

1. The Absolute Number One Reason is because… she finds other people’s kids annoying! This isn’t to say that she hates kids, or dislikes all other kids. There are some that she enjoys being around; there may even be some kids that she likes! But as a whole, most kids annoy her. Like REALLY annoy her. Annoy her to the point of “if I could, I would hit you. Over the head. With the biggest stick I can find.”

2. The reason most kids annoy her is because she finds most kids to be, well, brats. Unfortunately, most parents today have forgotten what it means to discipline their kids. Any discipline will do! Put them on timeout, take their candy away, make them copy the encyclopedia by chiseling it into a block of cheese! But just discipline your kids. Rant over.

3. She has a tendency to… instill fear within the hearts of innocent children. Annie has a look. A look that is made all the more penetrating by her very blue eyes. It’s a look that says “I really dislike you.” Where I, in my very masculine sounding voice, can make some kids obey, Annie’s look can make even the most disobedient of children obey in an instant.

4. Kids should be watched BY THEIR PARENTS! Children are a gift from God, to their parents, not to the rest of the world. True, there is nothing better than hearing a child laugh so hard that they snort milk out of their nose; everyone enjoys that! But children should be watched by their parents, not by a volunteer that would rather be elsewhere.

5. Lastly, Annie shouldn’t babysit your kids because you probably wouldn’t pay her enough! Babysitting is hard work! To watch kids that aren’t even yours and try to make it through the evening without having any emergencies or murders?! That might be an impossible task.

This post has been fun for me to write! I want to say though, that Annie is amazing with kids. Is she strict, yes. But strict and angry are two very different things. This list, although there may be some truth, has been written in fun. In other words: don’t take this stuff to seriously, folks! 😉

3 thoughts on “Why I Avoid Kids

  1. Girl I totally get you on the thing about parenting, or lack thereof! I have little siblings of my own, so I generally enjoy being around kids, but man, their behavior issues are through the roof nowadays. It’s sad, but true.

    Liked by 1 person

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